Shannon Frances Smith for Prime Minister

Hello Dreamers.

Given that the world is on fire, I think now is a good time for me to go into politics and run as prime minister.

"Don't you need to be the leader of a political party before even thinking about being Prime Minister?" Absolutely! That is why we have the Space Whale Party, for which I am the party leader!

Why should I vote for you, or anyone in your party?

Lets go through all the issues that matter! Starting with:

Energy Security

Gas prices have gone up since the USA attacked Iran. As prime minister, I defer to the wisdom of the cosmic Space Whale, saying we should source more of our power from the stars!

That's right! More solar power! A solar panel on every roof! We will have credits to insentivives people to purchase and install these things. Once installed it will lower the person's energy bill and help supply the grid!

We also want to power Canada with literal stars! Ok, we will go with the next best thing, making artifical starts. The technology for that is already there: what did you think nuclear power is? The only nuclear reactions that occur in nature is what creates stars.

With all that extra power we can have all the EVs, so we don't need the gas and disel from the Strait of Hormuz.

Affordability

Food costs have also gone up. Rent is jacked up and houses can only be bought by rich people. Increasingly streaming services, video games, even books, are becoming too expensive for normal people.

Seriously, $15 for an ebook?!

The first thing is obvious: breaking up trusts. Small business turns ecomonies while megacorps parasitize it, so that means companies like Loblaws and Live Nation get broken up, ideally into small and mid-sized businesses. This will lower costs and increase quaility of the product, service, and how its delivered.

That will also lower rent by breaking up private equity firms that gobble up houses and apartments, being the largest slumlords in the country. While on the topic affordable housing! Houses can be built out of things like used shipping containers, and sold to those who would otherwise be priced out of the market.

It would look something like this

Job Crisis

I won't mince words: robots are coming for your job. While there will always be jobs that require human judgement and intervention, there is a good chance that automation will take your office job now. AI-Powered robots will soon be smart enough to do dangerous jobs like logging or construction.

This is why the wisdom of the Space Whale shows that we need Universal Basic Income for all citizens scaled to the poverty line. What is the criteria? Proof of citizenship! That's it. Unlike in the USA we have ID options you can easily get to prove this.

Does this mean rich people can get this money, or people abuse the system? This fear of people abusing the system costs the government more in policing it then in actually handing out money. Not to mention we will have tax reforms such that megawealthy people will pay more in taxes than the UBI amount.

Trans Folk in Public Bathrooms

Seriously? This is an issue? You know if a man wants to do the unspeakable he can just walk right in the bathroom and do it. He doesn't need to pretend to be a woman to do this.

But, you know what? Fuck it, I will pass a law to make all bathroom universal, private, bathrooms, where the toliet has its own dedicated room. There! Problem solved!

Woman in Men's Sports

Its so unfair that men have to compete with woman in sports. After all, their pain threshold isn't has high and can't last as long as women. So, we shall have science based screening in answering the question of 'what's a woman?'

The Space Whale knows best.

In Closing

If you got this far and still haven't realised it...

April Fools!

Seriously, there isn't even an election happening right now. And I already wrote a story with a groan-worthy twist ending. Read that here.